You knew, you know.

When you don’t know what to do, 

Think a minute, because that is not really true.  

It was in all the moments leading to this one, 

You just don’t want to have to do, what must be done. 

It there in your stomach, when it twinged at your choice,

To keep silent, to adjust your wants, to not use your voice. 

It was there pressure building in your head, present in the low hum, 

When your heart skipped a beat, and your ears started to thrum. 

It was on your plate, when you pushed around your food, 

When you’re cranky, with no specific reason for being in a mood.  

It is on the edges of your vision, when you stare into the sunset,

And there when you watch the sun rise, sleep impossible in the upset.  

It’s in her fingers, holding much to tight, 

In the way she gets real quiet, and clings to you at night. 

It was there in your soul, you saw it all along,

You hear when she’s in the other room, in all the words to that sad song. 

It was in the way he looked at you, they way he watched you walk away,

They way you know he wanted to ask you if you would please just stay.  

It was there, every time you pushed against the knowing, 

Every time you turned away, you could feel it there, just growing. 

The default is to act like it’s not there, cling to pretty lies, 

We can see it in the mirror, the way we can’t meet our own eyes.